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He wasnt drinking but I needed to, there was no way I could ender what I was doing to myself by being here. Without being smashed. I loved him. I want...d him. But he was bad for me. He sang along to the oases lyric playing on the stereo behind him, we sat on his bed my legs over him. How many times have you been in love? I asked him, when the song ended. The room spinning. I wore black slit jeans and a low cut top with a crop top underneath. My red and black hair was in a messy fishtail, my. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t kill my love. She was far too precious to me.I closed my computer and didn’t write again for two weeks. I sat in that wilderness where I could hear the ocean crashing against the shore and watched my fire. Even writing it as ‘just’ a memory makes me want to open another bottle of wine and live in it.A Long Time Ago: Not Just SorrowI don’t know when or why I became such an emotional person. I guess I always have been and my emotions are nearer to the. Theroom was dim, my naked skin glowing in the light of thetelevision.“Look at that pathetic little dick you have there.” Thestranger said to me. “You could never please a womanwith that dick and you know it. That is why you like toplease black men, yes? You envy the powerful blackcock.” I just stood there silent. Embarrassed for somereason about my tiny penis, it was pathetic compared toany black man’s. It was more like an oversized clit tobe honest, only 5 inches at it’s maximum. Was he rightI. I had to think for a minute, but Isidora took the pause as an admission."Did you see her naked?" Lightning bolts were shooting from Isidora's eyes."Look, maybe I saw her naked, but nothing happened. We just had to work closely together." How could you do this?" Isidora screamed. "If you love me, how could you be with another woman?"Isidora threw back her chair from the breakfast table and dashed into our bedroom, slamming the door behind her. I looked at my grandmother who had witnessed the.
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